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| No clue why anyone believed someone who dressed like this |
Nonetheless, the complete misfire by the Mayans, combined with my recent shoulder dislocation, reminded me of my mortality. As a result, I compiled a bucket list of things I would like to accomplish before I die, because quite frankly, I'm not sure I will be reincarnated as someone so cute.
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| My first order of business: Presidential photo shoot! |
Become President of the United States: Unfortunately, this seems like a long-shot for a few reasons. First, there has never been an Indian President. Second, I have no political knowledge or experience. In fact, I have little interest in politics at all. I only want to be president so I can make spraying champagne everywhere legal.
Step foot on the Moon: Why do I want to go to the moon? Because I am looking for a cheese source that doesn't involve cruelty to animals.
See Jack Reacher: Seeing this movie is on my to-do list. It looks good and I'm a big Tom Cruise fan. It really doesn't have anything to do with the end of the world.
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| I'm assuming moon-cheese is vegan |
Spray Champagne Everywhere: This is self-explanatory
Find and Kill Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster: When I was a young lad, I was terrified of these beasts. Years later, I found out they were fictional- I had no reason to be scared. I hate liars. I hate fear. I will have my revenge.
Get a Sandwich Named after Me: I thought I had already accomplished this feat with my famous Peanut Butter and Chutney on Foccacia. Unfortunately, this sandwich had already been named "The Prakash"
Looks like I'll have a lot of work to do to complete this list. In fact, I probably would have had a better chance of doing some of these things had the Apocalypse indeed occurred. It would have been easier to become president of a post-apopalyptic world with fewer legitimate candidates, and few police officers would complain about celebrating surviving the apocalypse with a champagne shower followed by a chutney sandwich (Prakash also would have died, leaving the door open for culinary innovation).