Going Green With Jayshiv: Reasons to turn Vegan

For the past 8 months, I have been living on a clean, Vegan diet. While there are many compelling arguments to go Vegan, I wanted to share my personal reasons with the loyal readers of Jayshiv's Bjournal.

Save the Animals
I believe we are all reincarnated- sometimes as animals. I also have little faith in the concept of time; time is a constrict of the physical world. While I hope to only be reincarnated as myself, Shah Rukh Khan, or dragons, there is a chance I will be reincarnated as an animal- and, because I don't believe in time, that animal might be living right now. By refraining from eating meat, I ensure that I am not responsible for my own murder in another life.

Although I'm sure I would be delicious.

Less Prostitutes
Giving up meat can help one live a cleaner life and give up other vices as well. When asked about why he became vegan, Mike Tyson responded:
"Too many prison cells, too many jails, too many lawsuits, too many bankruptcies, too many women, too many venereal diseases, too many everything! I got tired … of every time my prostitute girl got back from a trip I had to sleep with her. I’m going to live a different life."
While I can't promise you that going vegan will prevent VDs or cure your problem with prostitutes, it certainly can't hurt.

Stop Global Warming
Everyone is terrified of global warming- pushing for hybrid and fuel efficient vehicles. But did you know, according to the UN, that raising animals for food causes more emissions of greenhouse gasses than all cars, planes, trains, and ships combined? The only thing that causes more global warming than livestock is livestock driving vehicles with poor carbon emissions.
A nightmare for the environment


Better Health
There has been research that has shown vegan diets reducing the risk of hyperlipidemia, cardiovascular disease, cancer (breast, colon, prostate), and diabetes. And,while the data is lacking, I believe that my vegan diet has also protected me from various fictional diseases, like that thing Iron Man has that forces him wear a battery instead of a heart and cooties.
Unable to turn to his usual staples of
 whipped cream and chocolate for ethical
 reasons, Jayshiv has been forced to get
 creative with his bedroom food choices

End World Hunger
Making meat is simply inefficient: every calorie of beef protein takes 78 calories of fossil fuel to make- each calorie of soy protein takes just one calorie of fossil fuel to make. I realize this would be more compelling if fossil fuel tasted better.

I Hate Paneer
This one is pretty self explanatory 

Better for the Environment
We touched on global warming above, but the impact of livestock on the environment cannot be overstated: 90% of deforestation is to create land for livestock, and thousands of tons of livestock feces pollute water sources. While this water problem could be solved by potty-training the animals, the simpler solution is to just go vegan.

Bill Clinton told me to do it
Bill Clinton really spoke well at the Democratic National Convention- I plan on blindly voting for Obama just because Clinton was so eloquent. Clinton is vegan and had a very public scandal, so it is only appropriate we do those things as well.

There you have it- my case for saving the planet, hundreds of animals a year, and your own health. If you're not ready to go full on Vegan, you can check out my compelling reasons to go vegetarian in this article .